8 Things You Shouldn’t Do With Golden Retrievers (Unless You Want Chaos)
Golden Retrievers are basically the golden children of the dog world. They’re fluffy, friendly, and have enough energy to power a small city.
But here’s the thing: just because they’re the poster dogs for happiness doesn’t mean they’re invincible. There are some things you really shouldn’t do with these lovable goofballs unless you’re ready for a full-blown circus in your living room.
Let’s dive into the 8 things you should avoid doing with your Golden Retriever—unless you’re into chaos, of course.
1. Leave Them Alone With Food (Or Anything Edible, Really)
Golden Retrievers are like vacuum cleaners with fur. If it’s edible, they’ll find it. If it’s not edible, they’ll still try to eat it. Leaving your Golden alone with food is like handing a toddler a paintbrush and saying, “Go wild.”

Here’s a quick story… My friend left a loaf of bread on the counter. Came back to find her Golden sitting there, looking guilty, with crumbs all over his face.
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Pro tip: Invest in a dog-proof trash can and keep food out of reach. Trust me, it’s cheaper than a vet bill for eating something they shouldn’t.
2. Skip Daily Exercise

Golden Retrievers are basically athletes in disguise. They need at least an hour of exercise every day. Skip that, and you’ll have a 70-pound ball of energy bouncing off your walls.
What happens if you don’t exercise them?
- They’ll chew your shoes.
- They’ll dig up your yard.
- They’ll stare at you with those sad puppy eyes until you feel guilty enough to take them out.

Pro tip: A tired Golden is a happy Golden. Walks, fetch, swimming—whatever it takes to burn that energy.
3. Ignore Their Love for Water
Golden Retrievers are part fish, I swear. If there’s water nearby, they’ll find it. Puddles, lakes, your bathtub—it’s all fair game.

What not to do:
- Don’t leave them unsupervised near pools or lakes. They’ll jump in, and you’ll have to fish them out.
- Don’t expect them to stay clean after a walk in the rain. They’ll find the muddiest spot and roll in it like it’s a spa day.
Pro tip: Embrace the wet dog smell. It’s part of the Golden Retriever experience.
4. Assume They’ll Be Quiet

Golden Retrievers are talkers. They bark, whine, and make weird noises to communicate. If you’re expecting a silent dog, you’re in the wrong breed.
What they’ll “say”:
- “I’m hungry.”
- “I’m bored.”
- “I see a squirrel.”
- “I exist, and you should pay attention to me.”
Pro tip: Teach them basic commands like “quiet” early on. It won’t stop the chatter completely, but it’ll help.

5. Forget to Groom Them
Golden Retrievers have beautiful, flowing coats that require regular maintenance. If you skip grooming, you’ll end up with a walking tumbleweed.
What happens if you don’t groom them?
- Their fur gets matted.
- They shed enough to make a second dog.
- They start to smell like a wet sock.

Pro tip: Brush them at least 2-3 times a week and bathe them every 4-6 weeks. Your vacuum cleaner will thank you.
6. Leave Them Alone for Too Long
Golden Retrievers are social butterflies. They thrive on human interaction and can get anxious if left alone for long periods.
What happens if you leave them alone?
- They’ll destroy your couch.
- They’ll howl like they’re in a Shakespearean tragedy.
- They’ll give you the saddest look when you come home.
Pro tip: If you’re gone for more than 4-5 hours, consider a dog walker or daycare. Your furniture will survive longer.
7. Assume They’re Low-Maintenance
Golden Retrievers are amazing, but they’re not low-maintenance. They need exercise, grooming, training, and lots of love.
What people get wrong:
- “They’re so friendly, they must be easy to train.” (Nope, they’re stubborn.)
- “They’re great with kids, so they don’t need much attention.” (Wrong again.)
Pro tip: Do your research before getting a Golden. They’re worth the effort, but they’re not a “set it and forget it” kind of dog.

8. Underestimate Their Intelligence
Golden Retrievers are smart. Like, “figure out how to open the fridge” smart. If you underestimate them, they’ll outsmart you every time.
What they’ll do:
- Learn how to open doors.
- Figure out where you hide the treats.
- Pretend they don’t know a command just to see if you’ll give up.
Pro tip: Keep them mentally stimulated with puzzles, training, and games. A bored Golden is a mischievous Golden.
FAQs
Q: Are Golden Retrievers good with kids?
A: Absolutely! They’re gentle, patient, and love being part of the family. Just supervise interactions with very young kids to avoid accidental knocks.
Q: Do Golden Retrievers shed a lot?
A: Oh yeah. Invest in a good vacuum and embrace the fluff.
Q: Can Golden Retrievers live in apartments?
A: It’s possible, but they need plenty of exercise and outdoor time. A house with a yard is ideal.
Q: How long do Golden Retrievers live?
A: Typically 10-12 years, but with good care, some live even longer.
Conclusion
Golden Retrievers are amazing companions, but they’re not for everyone. They’re high-energy, high-maintenance, and high on life. If you’re ready for the commitment, they’ll reward you with endless love, laughter, and maybe a few chewed-up shoes.
But if you’re not up for the challenge, that’s okay too. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you when your Golden turns your living room into a water park.
Now go hug your Golden (or someone else’s) and tell them they’re a good dog. Because they are. The best, actually.

I’ve spent 10+ years in dog training, digging into what makes dogs (and their humans) tick. At Smart Dog Learning, I share my no-nonsense, fun approach to training so you can enjoy life with a well-behaved, happy pup—no boring lectures, just practical results 😉